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Mom called just before we left for the nursing home and asked the usual questions. I gave her the answers she expected which made her happy. She gave me her phone and room number and then hung up. Strange, I hadn't thought of Mom and Dad until the phone call.As we drove to the nursing home Millie told me about her husband and why he was there. He had Alzheimer's Disease and couldn't take care of himself. She had taken care of him at home until the disease had progressed to the point where she couldn't manage the house and watch him at the same time. She had put him in the home where he could get the care he needed and moved into the apartment which was convenient to shopping and easier for her to keep up. She visited her husband several times a week and worked as a volunteer whenever needed. Saturday mornings she made herself useful as a receptionist for the visitors.The morning was a whirl of introductions, new people, and talk. Millie parked me in a large sitting room and hurried. Brenda watched him for a moment, her brain agile, despite the tumor that was pressing against parts of it. She recognized, on an unconscious level, that she bothered him, and associated it with what had happened. Thinking about her body “bothering” a man was something new and interesting ... a subject she had never really spent any time reflecting on before.Every woman arrives at a time in her life when she realizes she has power of a sexual nature. She sees, usually in a man’s eyes, something that tells her on a basic level that she can influence a man... control a man ... at least to some extent, based on that sexual aspect she has just discovered in herself.That epiphany usually results in one of two reactions. One is that she doesn’t understand that power and it scares her. It’s a little like holding raw energy in one’s hands that feels dangerous. Some women back away from that power and refuse to embrace it or use it. It becomes something “other women” use ... but not her ... at.
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